Thursday, 18 February 2016

My Narrative Writing

Once upon a time me and My friends to Australia for a holiday.

My friends decided “we should go to the fun park”.
so we went to the fun park and saw lots of Activities like a show,games and many more. we had just finished watching a show and we started walking around.

We had saw two volcanoes one looked like a lady and one looked like a man
they were obviously happy they had a smile on their face.
there was lava coming out with lava rocks and it was shacking we thought it was apart of the theme but it was a volcano erupting we were in an earthquake we did not like it cause there was a lot of people dying.

When the earthquake had stopped we went straight to the airport and catched the 1st plane back to Auckland.


Thank you for reading my Narrative Writing.

1 comment:

  1. You have a great start to your story Stacey, but it feels very rushed. I really think we could work to add so much more detail and description that would make your audience want to read more and more. Take some time to work with this a little more, and be sure to capitalise the beginnings of your sentences.